How Is Our Purpose Linked to Our Talents?

We often question and ponder the purpose of our existence, as well as our value.  We may also not be happy with what we achieved in our lives by now.

The purpose of our life and our satisfaction with what we have already achieved in life are linked to the level of expression of our talents and potentials. 

The Uniqueness and Value of Our Talents

All of us possess natural, unique, talents. And they are valuable!

In an ideal world, our talents would be joyfully expressed by us and appreciated by others. We would complement and serve each other with our talents, fulfilling each other’s needs and desires.

However, reality deviates from this scenario. And why is that?

Why Don’t We Value and Express Our Talents?

We will focus on three main reasons for not valuing and expressing our talents identified in the Paradox-x practice.

1. No feedback – We might have had talents, but if they were not recognised and mirrored to us by our environment, it is likely that we never realised we had them. For instance – you are a talented musician but you grew up in an environment where music is not “allowed” by the religion and you have never had a chance to express your talent and recognise you have it.
2. Environment has not been seeing value in our talents – If we have had talents, but in our environment, they were not seen as valuable, we may also form a belief of the worthlessness of our talents.

For instance – you are an artist in a family of businessmen who only value profits, or you are a person good at planning and organising in a “hippy” family who likes to live day by day without any plan.

3. The perception that only certain talents can bring us what we want – our childhood may have taught us that only certain talents can bring us what we deeply desire.

For instance: A girl is good at observing what the needs of others are and fulfilling their needs. She can realise if someone does not feel well and find a solution or look for an appropriate remedy. If someone is cold, she will bring a blanket or turn up the heat. It comes with an ease to her. But this is not appreciated by others or it is taken for granted. Her younger brother is someone who likes to talk and is “funny”. The parents and the environment show appreciation for his behaviour. And then, she adopts a belief that what she can offer is not valuable, and starts desiring to be someone else. To have different talents.

Apart from the listed obstacles in valuing and expressing talents, we can, also, fall into the trap of false negative beliefs about our talents.

Beliefs About the Negative Consequences of Our Talents

Based on our life experience, we might have formed false negative beliefs that the talents we possess may be detrimental to us or others, that they can bring negative consequences.

For instance:

• If I am of service, others may abuse my willingness to serve and not appreciate my effort. The role of “servant” is not cool. Only of a “master”.
• If I am a good listener people will overwhelm me with their problems.
• If I choose to live using my artistic talents, I will be poor and not able to support my family financially.

To further deepen the understanding of our beliefs about talents, we can make use of a great story, a fairy tale that came to my mind when I was exploring the talents theme.

Long, Broad and Sharpsight

The inspiring fairy tale Long, Broad and Sharpsight was collected and published by Karel Jaromír Erben in 1865. While published more than one and a half-century ago, its wisdom is still highly relevant.

The main character, the prince, is seeking for his princess held hostage by an evil magician. On his journey, three supporters join him – Long who can stretch himself to be very tall, Broad who can become very wide and Sharpsight who can see far and also melt objects with his sight. Each of his supporters can be considered as a talent. And we can also think if we would perceive these talents as “attractive”. Is a very tall, slim and disproportionate Long someone we would laugh at or appreciate and respect? Would we see the chubby Broad as someone with flaws or appreciate him as someone who can save us by drinking the entire see when needed? Would we belittle Sharpsight for his need to wear a blindfold, or we would appreciate him for his ability to melt the rocks and see far?

In reflecting on the tale, we can also reflect on how we see our talents. Are we focusing on the negative sides and fail to appreciate the value and benefits they bring?

How to Use Our Talents and Get to Our Unique Path

Numerous Paradox-x clients have succeeded in changing their life paths towards the ones that are better aligned with their natural and unique talents.

For instance:

• A client who has never been employed was withdrawn from social life and had no confidence that what she knows is of value – After a couple of months of intensive work, she became aware of her talents for communication, design and space organisation. Despite her “empty” CV, she landed a high-end job in a leading company in her sector because of the confidence, charm and passion she presented at the interview. She also succeeded to rise up to the expectations and became one of the most valued professionals on the team.

And how did we get there? The work included overcoming social phobias originating from her childhood traumas and from her parents’ negative beliefs of her values. It was also important to become aware of unrealistic fantasies she created as an avoidance mechanism. And to become aware of her real talents. The awareness was an important step, but the process did not end there; it was followed by concrete steps in presenting, using and practising her skills and talents. All this culminated in her entering the desired profession in a prestigious company.