What Brings Me Safety in Life?

In our journey through life, we often seek safety and security in various external factors. These may include family, our job, our home, a partner, wealth, friendships, or even our own abilities. We hold on to these elements dearly, often believing that they are our sources of safety and stability. But is this belief in external factors entirely accurate?

The Illusion and Impermanence of External Safety

It’s only natural to yearn for safety and stability. We all want a place where we can feel sheltered from life’s storms. However, when we overly rely on external factors, we may find ourselves compromising our values and integrity.

One important truth we must recognize is that external factors are not stable sources of safety.

They are subject to change, and often, these changes are beyond our control. Jobs can be lost, relationships can end, and financial situations can fluctuate. Holding onto them as our only sources of security can lead to disappointment and anxiety.

The Consequences of Fear of Losing Safety

Holding onto external sources of safety and security can lead to disappointment and anxiety because of the instability and impermanence of external sources. If we place our belief in any of these factors as the sole source of our safety, we may also cling to them desperately, as if our life depended on it. Quite literally. Consequently, to maintain these external sources of security, we might even compromise our core values, resorting to actions such as:

• Falsifying our true selves and pretending to sustain our relationship
• Plotting against colleagues to secure a job or advance a career
• Resorting to dishonesty to preserve or augment our wealth

Alternatively, we may find ourselves trapped in unhappiness within our jobs or relationships simply because they offer a semblance of safety. But what happens if, despite all efforts, these external anchors slip away? We are left only with the burden of guilt or lingering unhappiness. So, what is the path forward?

The Path to Inner Safety and Stability

So, where can we find true safety in life? It begins within us.

When we cultivate inner safety and stability, we gain the strength to face life’s uncertainties with grace and courage.

Example: A man continually maintains a state of heightened alertness, constantly monitoring life for potential dangers. He lives in a perpetual state of tension, expending most of his energy on detecting signs of danger and contemplating worst-case scenarios. Upon delving deeper into the root causes of his enduring behaviour, he had an eye-opening revelation—he had never truly experienced a sense of safety and security throughout his life. In fact, he was unfamiliar with the physical and emotional sensations associated with feeling safe. This revelation came as a surprise to him, as he had never been conscious of his inner state before. It was only when he examined his life through this lens that he realized how fear had dominated his existence, leaving little room for peace, joy, and creative expression.

During the Paradox-x session, we also tapped into deep states in which he experienced a feeling of profound inner safety for the first time in his life. This exploration both surprised and relieved him. He discovered that he possessed the capacity to relax and enjoy life’s moments, without being in a tense alert state. This newfound sense of inner security opened the door to experiencing life’s events with genuine enjoyment and contentment.

Embracing Inner Bravery

When we loosen our attachments to external sources of safety, we free ourselves from the chains of dependency and become braver individuals. We’re no longer held hostage by the fear of losing external factors, which allows us to explore new opportunities and take (calculated) risks.

In conclusion, we can remember that while family, job, home, partner, wealth, friendships or our abilities can be our support, they are not the ultimate sources of safety.

True safety comes from within, from living a life aligned with our inner being.

When we embrace our inner integrity, we can find the courage to face life’s challenges and uncertainties with grace and resilience.