Anger is often linked with boundaries. Anger comes in when our boundaries are endangered or violated. An interesting observation is that we feel angry if we feel that we are powerless to solve a problem – if we are confident that a solution is there, there is no need for anger.

There is an ongoing debate if expressing anger is useful or not. One view, supported by a number of scientific studies, argues that going through anger catharsis is not healthy. They also state that if we go through catharsis, we still remain angry. Other have a view that expressing anger is healthy and that it provides impetus for change.

While working with clients I noticed that anger is a cover emotion for a set of deeper and more painful emotions including powerlessness, worthlessness, self-destruction, self-hate. In some cases, I did find expression of anger to be useful and even necessary to pass the point of powerlessness. The cases where it is not necessary to go through anger catharsis are also there. The most important outcome while working with anger is to resolve root trauma and to empower person (or ourselves) to leave the traumatic memories, to find the new way out of the trauma trap. This way we are learning to find the solutions, and the need for anger reduces. While working with clients on anger issues, a couple of beliefs and behavioural patterns surfaced.

Some clients believe that others hear them and respect them only when they become angry and/or aggressive. They have, practically, intertwined assertiveness, confidence and respect with anger and aggression and believe they can only come hand in hand. These beliefs can be inherited, or they can be learnt from the environment. We can support clients (or work with ourselves) to decouple the anger and aggression on one side and assertiveness, confidence and respect on other.

Another group of clients fully suppresses energy of anger, because anger was characterized as bad and unacceptable by the primary care givers or by others in the environment. In some cases, clients with this type of beliefs are inclined to develop depression (in these cases expression of anger may be useful). Each time we work with others (or ourselves) we need to make sure we leave fealings of powerlessness and anger and enter the space of feeling relief, calm and more empowerment.