We are, all, a unique expression of life. I do not know about you, but when I was younger and already in the ‘pretend to be cool’ mode, I found it really difficult to be next to a genuine, authentic person. I remember feeling fake, insecure, I felt my pretense to be sooo loud.

We are often trying to hide who we are because of deeply embedded shame originating from our childhood. As children we perceived or we were made to believe that something about us, about who we truly are is shameful. As a result, we often build a fake personality, something that is more accepted or something we consider to be a better expression. We ‘invent’ a personality and become it on the surface. After years of practicing ‘invented’ personality we start forgetting who we truly are.
In my therapeutic practice, I had a client that was a true artist at heart, but was shamed for it by her family. She decided to abandon her artistic talents and chose an employment as an administrative assistant. After a couple of Paradox-x sessions, the client got inspired to paint and even started selling her art recently. A new beginning.

So, what can we do, practically, to find a way back to ourselves? In Paradox-x Method, we lean on emotions to guide us. Thus. if we observe a discord between our emotions, thoughts and behaviour, this is an obvious sign of inauthenticity. Listening to the emotions more carefully will help us understand where we are in relation to the current situation and people. And learning to honour and express our emotions is a gradual process that will reward us with a stronger and more authentic expression of who we are. We should not forget to mention importance of resolving traumas that created shame. Since shame related traumas are rather deep and emotionally painful, we may want to look for therapeutic support and/or to learn a structured way how to do it ourselves.