Are Repeating Situations Haunting Us?

We all struggle with repeating situations that seem to haunt us, creating a sense of stagnation and frustration. Big or small, these situations can evoke in us a range of emotions – from surface-level emotions like sadness, irritation and frustration to much deeper and more difficult ones like despair, hopelessness and powerlessness.

Why Do We Experience Repeating Situations?

It may seem that the world, or the Universe, has conspired against us. And that it wants us to live in the misery of our repeating situations.

While this may seem to be true, there is another explanation for the loop we are stuck in.

Repeating situations are, actually, not roadblocks but repeated opportunities for our growth.

Each recurring situation is hiding important lessons and learnings that can benefit our lives and our prosperity.  Of course, if we discover and adopt them! We always have a choice – we can decide to face and transform our inner dragon, or we can decide to stay in the repetitive loop.

It sounds easy ‘on paper’ – seeing what the lessons are and adopting them. However, all of us have probably tried our best to overcome our repeating situations, and still have not succeeded. And why is that?

One of the main reasons we do not succeed in overcoming repetitive challenges is keeping our old perspective.

We are trying to fix the problem with the same or similar approach. And this does not lead to success. Einstein also pondered over this subject and shared his thoughts:

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

In conclusion, changing or broadening our perspective is a prerequisite for overcoming the repeating problems.

How to Face Our Inner Dragons in the Repeating Situations

When I was in my teenage years, I realised that things are repeating. When I was experiencing the repeating situations, I had a strong inner emotional wave surfacing and overwhelming me. And I somehow envisioned this emotional wave in an image of a dragon since I was really terrified by the difficult emotions.

My first impulse when the ‘dragon’ was surfacing was to push it back where it came from. But the ‘dragon’ does not stay dormant forever. It resurfaces when a similar situation comes along. But guess what, this time the ‘dragon’ has two heads instead of one. Practically, as time passes, the dragon becomes more entangled with other subconscious content. It can connect with our insecurity, impatience, hopelessness, loneliness, fears… The entanglements with difficult emotions and states, practically, create more and more heads on our ‘dragon. And the next time it resurfaces, dealing with the inner states becomes more difficult.  We may need even more courage, strength, honesty, understanding, perseverance or other traits to face it.

While the challenges may become bigger and bigger, it is possible to overcome them. Now, I will share with you basic guidelines for Paradox-x processes used when overcoming the challenge of repetitive situations.

1. Identifying the Repeating Situation

Begin by pinpointing one repeating situation in your life that unsettles you, whether it’s a minor annoyance or a significant life pattern. For instance, it could be the frustration of people leaving your life just as you grow close to them.

2. Exploring Surface and Deeper Level Emotions:

Repeating situations trigger various emotions, both on the surface and at deeper levels. Take a moment to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and first acknowledge your surface emotions, sensations and states (some examples are: frustration, annoyance, anger, irritation, discomfort, sadness). In the second stage, allow yourself to delve deeper and uncover deeper emotions tied to the situation.

We may be tempted to avoid going into our deep difficult emotions, however, the resolution of the repeating situation depends on our willingness to dive in.

Examples of deeper emotions and states we can become conscious of include: sense of powerlessness, despair, terror, hopelessness, and others.

3. Acceptance of and Presence with Our Deep Emotions

Even though our first instinct may be to escape difficult emotions, we need to find strength to accept and stay present with them.

We may need to have an emotional discharge in some way, and we should allow ourselves to do so. When the emotions calm down after the initial surge, we can go a step further.

4. Adopting Learnings Hidden in the Repeating Situations

Repetition signifies an opportunity for deeper learning and addressing challenges we have in our lives. All of us have different learnings we ‘subscribed’ to in our lives.

And the repeating situations are our ‘teachers’ of learnings and virtues.

After we identified the deepest emotions buried in our subconsciousness, we need to open up for learning and ask ourselves:

Which virtues, traits and behaviours I can adopt that would take me out of this situation? Do I lack bravery, honesty, perseverance, faith, commitment, understanding, compassion, confidence, focus…? All of us have specific learnings in the situations, so open up to see yours.

Once you see which virtues, traits and behaviours you lack, you may make a decision to open up for learning and adopting them. And commit to it.

Once we commit to adopting learnings, the repeating situations lose their purpose and/or power over us.

If your emotional states are deep and you are not confident you can deal with them yourself, please seek help from a therapist (for booking a Paradox-x session that can support you in this process, please click here).

You may also choose to lean on the full recording of the Paradox-x Workshop Video with the guided introspection exercise Why Do We Fall? Again and Again and Again…