Three Aspects of Fear of Missing Out – Connection, Time, and Envy

In addressing FoMO – the widely discussed Fear of Missing Out – we will explore three key aspects identified through the Paradox-x therapeutic approach. The first aspect pertains to our misconceptions about connection, the second involves our perception of time, and the third centres around envy.

Fear of Missing Out Has Been Around Forever

FoMO, in contemporary terms, is the apprehension of missing out on something thrilling, be it an event or gathering, attended by others.

It stems from the fear of not discovering the event, missing out on an invitation, or simply not being present. It is also frequently triggered by social media posts on others’ profiles.

Though the expression “FoMO” gained popularity in the 1990s, its roots extend far beyond the rise of social networks. The underlying fear of missing out has been a part of the human experience for centuries, as we all harbour concerns about missing out on life’s opportunities and watching time slip by. When discussing FoMO, we will consider this broader perspective.

Challenging False Beliefs About Connection

One of the fundamental sources of FoMO is the unfounded belief that we will lose our connections with others if we don’t partake in every significant event and gathering.

We erroneously assume that we must be ever-present to maintain these connections, fearing that others will abandon us or forget about us if we are not always around.

The Relentless Passage of Time

Time is another vital aspect of the Fear of Missing Out. We often believe certain opportunities are once-in-a-lifetime events, irreplaceable and tied to a specific moment. And because of this perception, we will continuously scan the environment while making sure we do not miss out on anything.

While the passage of time is real in our experience, it is important to realise that what we really desire is not hidden in specific events or once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. And to broaden our perspective on the ways our needs and desires can be fulfilled.

 So, instead of chasing what dreams of others are, or what is perceived as a dream life, we may follow our own path. And make sure our path is aligned with our deepest needs and desires. As the song “Once in a Lifetime” by Talking Heads eloquently expresses:

“You may ask yourself, ‘What is that beautiful house?’

You may ask yourself, ‘Where does that highway go to?’

And you may ask yourself, ‘Am I right, am I wrong?’

And you may say to yourself, ‘My God, what have I done?’

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by, water flowing underground

Into the blue again, into the silent water

Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground.”

David Byrne explained that the song is about the unconscious and about the fact that we often operate on autopilot, leading to a life we haven’t consciously chosen. This is in agreement with Paradox-x concept on the influence of subconscious beliefs or environment on our choices.

The Envy

If Fear of Missing Out is deeply ingrained within us, we are no strangers to envy.

When we witness someone else achieving what we desire, having fun, or living their best life while we are not, envy stings us. This can compel us to impulsively seek out activities that seem appealing to others or are done by others. In the words of David Byrne from Talking Heads, we might end up asking ourselves, “How did I get here?” if we become compulsive doers.

For a deeper exploration of envy and jealousy, you can refer to our blog post titled Envy and Jealousy.

Overcoming Fear of Missing Out

The Paradox-x Method equips us to examine our beliefs about connection, our relationship with time, and the roots of our envy. Through this process, we can gain insight into what truly matters. Once we have this realisation, we can expand on our views in which way we can meet our deepest needs and fulfil our desires. If we are on the right path, we will feel inner contentment and our need to compare ourselves with others will fade, consequently leading to overcoming Fear of Missing Out.